“Oh my gawwww,” Brittany lamented as she walked through the trash-filled streets near the Luxembourg Garden. The lament was directed… Read more The Tourists Did Not Take Photos
Can You Become the Photo You Hate?
There it was, staring right back at me. A version of myself I could hardly recognize, yet was purportedly none… Read more Can You Become the Photo You Hate?
People Sitting in Parked Cars in Suburbia
It happens all the time in suburbia. You’re walking down the street—almost always devoid of any sign of life—assuming you’re… Read more People Sitting in Parked Cars in Suburbia
Whorefrost
Hoarfrost is unique. A crystalline deposit of mystique. Forming amid the stark calm after a snowstorm. Typically on vegetation, fences… Read more Whorefrost
To The Shady Character on the Bench Fucking Up My Experience
To the shady character on the bench fucking up my experience: I know you didn’t mean to. You’re simply there,… Read more To The Shady Character on the Bench Fucking Up My Experience
It Never Rains in Southern California—And Of Course It Never Snows Either
Albert Hammond had warned of the myth of California, long ago, in 1972. He had done so in musical form,… Read more It Never Rains in Southern California—And Of Course It Never Snows Either
The Statue Bound and Gagged
There is a lone statue in the Tuileries Garden. Well, it’s not “lone.” It stands among many others. However, it… Read more The Statue Bound and Gagged
Bébé à Bord
Having children must make you insane. Or force you to give so little of a fuck that you start speaking… Read more Bébé à Bord
Last-Minute Flowers
It wasn’t a coincidence that Miley had released her song almost exactly a month before Valentine’s Day. She knew how… Read more Last-Minute Flowers
A Boyfriend Is For Taking Pictures
Most women know by now that straight men serve few viable purposes in their lives other than “pointing and clicking.”… Read more A Boyfriend Is For Taking Pictures
Literary Bitch 