I was going to call you to spend the night. I’ve been in between places, you see. And I’ve been… Read more I Was Going to Call You To Spend the Night, But I Went to the Holiday Inn Express With a Dubious Character Instead
Your Motherfuckin’ Ass, My Motherfuckin’ Tail
I am the little mermaid, hopelessly devoted to your motherfuckin’ ass. You like me best because I can’t speak, and… Read more Your Motherfuckin’ Ass, My Motherfuckin’ Tail
The Pop Star’s Daughter
I despised her. From the moment I heard the first few notes of her most successful single, “Boundary,” I apprehended… Read more The Pop Star’s Daughter
California Is Burning
California is burning. Or rather, California is always burning. Burning with desire, with the sins of temptation, with the ghosts… Read more California Is Burning
The Non-Functioning Defense Mechanism
“Did you ever think maybe men treat you like shit because you act so cavalier?” the old man asked her.… Read more The Non-Functioning Defense Mechanism
Dodici Vibratori Sulla Spiaggia
In Italy, let alone the south of Italy, one never knows where the trash comes from. Only that it somehow… Read more Dodici Vibratori Sulla Spiaggia
Nothing Lasts Forever, You Know?
“Ahmed is very gentle,” the receptionist assures me after I tell her that yes, I probably do suffer from dental… Read more Nothing Lasts Forever, You Know?
Liliane Bettencourt and Zsa Zsa Gabor Dine in Heaven (Their Own Version They Built For Themselves Without God’s Input)
Zsa Zsa Gabor was getting pretty lonely in her own self-made heaven after dying, like so many people, in 2016.… Read more Liliane Bettencourt and Zsa Zsa Gabor Dine in Heaven (Their Own Version They Built For Themselves Without God’s Input)
The Sock Missing Its Match
I put on one of your socks today, faced with the unwanted realization that some part of you always creeps… Read more The Sock Missing Its Match
Generational Divide
In the early 1990s, novelty children’s books were a thing. The kind you could personalize to make the story about… Read more Generational Divide
