New Yorkers, despite the ghettoness of their daily lives, are still somehow expectant of always getting what they want. Unfortunately,… Read more Cream (Cheese) Yourself!
Tag: NYC
Coney (Island) Barrett
Of course, she had never done anything like this. It was completely against her nature to be spontaneous, let alone… Read more Coney (Island) Barrett
Taking Leave of One’s Senses
If you had asked him, he wouldn’t have been able to give you a viable reason for why he had… Read more Taking Leave of One’s Senses
2020 Is The Titanic But Less Glamorous
“A sinking ship it all is. There’s no denying that,” Audrey offered, as she prepared a takeout drink order for… Read more 2020 Is The Titanic But Less Glamorous
Andy Warhol in Self-Isolation
Andy Warhol in self-isolation is having the time of his fucking life. Gabbing on the phone as usual, wanking to… Read more Andy Warhol in Self-Isolation
The Nullification of Brain Infection As A Result of Diminished Exposure to Street Advertisements
The celebrities were growing increasingly depressed. And, of course, their depression far outweighed that of the average “non-person.” These were… Read more The Nullification of Brain Infection As A Result of Diminished Exposure to Street Advertisements
Burning Bodies Into the Night (Mr. Frematorium’s Wonder Crematorium)
It’s strange that something as simultaneously savage and civilized as cremation would only come to prominence in the 1870s. In… Read more Burning Bodies Into the Night (Mr. Frematorium’s Wonder Crematorium)
Making It Rain (Hand Sanitizer) at the Strip Club
Everything closed. Yet somehow, the strip clubs of Times Square persisted, attracting more clientele than ever thanks to the purging… Read more Making It Rain (Hand Sanitizer) at the Strip Club
Dorm Daddy
He liked to tell people he was named after Cary Grant. It took away ever so slightly from the overall… Read more Dorm Daddy
Peppermint Ain’t So Sweet
Matty the Horse could be Matty the Gay Horse if the price was right. That is to say, despite being… Read more Peppermint Ain’t So Sweet
Literary Bitch 