As was usually the case while riding the train—whether long distances or short—Jessica had a tendency to end up listening to Britney Spears. That’s what her algorithm knew she wanted to hear, so that’s what it would invariably play. Even if Jessica might have initially started out trying not to listen to Spears (though, honestly, as if—all musical roads led to that Sagittarius). In fact, Jessica often wondered why she bothered listening to anything other than Britney at all. In the end, it was always Spears’ music she wanted to hear. Not just because it still remained unparalleled compared to the music of the present, but more than likely because it reminded her of simpler times. Not merely because she was in “the prime of her life” when Spears first arrived onto the scene, but because, objectively, existence was better in the early 2000s. Jessica knew this absolutely to be true. That there was no denying it.

Oh sure, things were more “oppressive” then, towards gays especially, but Jessica believed that even many a gay would prefer to exist in that time rather than this one. With all its lusterlessness and, when it came to pop stars, total lack of performance effort and ingenuity. Spears was the last pinnacle of a time when anyone gave a damn about spectacle as opposed to “authenticity.” Oof, Jessica despised that word. It was the root of all evil in terms of watching the deterioration of celebrity. So she comforted herself with Spears’ albums, trying her best to retreat into an era where everything, for as confusing as it still was, made far more sense than it did now.

At first, however, she started out by listening to “Used to Know Me” by Charli XCX, which, several songs later, naturally segued into Britney’s “I’m A Slave 4 U” (XCX will be the first to admit to Spears’ enduring influence on her). It was at this precise moment that a young girl, no older than five or six, proceeded to walk down the aisle of the train asking for money. Although the norm for a scenario like this typically meant that the child’s mother or father wasn’t far behind, lurking elsewhere on the train to hustle for some cash separately, in this instance, Jessica saw no such parental figure looming in the distance. Something that struck her as very odd and very sad. And now, tinged with cruel irony as a result of Spears cooing, “I’m a slaaaaaaave/For you/I won’t deny it/I’m not tryna hide it.”

That Spears herself was a child slave to her parents only added to the heightened sense of eeriness brought on by this unexpected scene soundtracked to this particular single. And yet, something prevented Jessica from acting on her feelings of sympathy, from actually doling out some cash, however nominal, to the poor, destitute girl. Even if her clothes were rather nice. She also looked quite clean for a homeless child. These small details about her raised up a red flag in the mind’s eye of Jessica, who, for some reason, just couldn’t fully buy that this child was on her own.

Then again, it wasn’t that difficult to believe in the brutality of the world, in how dastardly and callous humanity could be. Just look at Spears being placed into a conservatorship for something as innocuous as “acting crazy” in 2007/2008—no one even questioned it. Everyone was so ready and willing to embrace the idea that Spears—and women in general—was a “hysterical” nut job. So why should it be such a struggle for Jessica to fathom that this girl truly was alone? With not another soul in the world—at least not an “authority figure”—to guide her through it. As Britney herself puts it on “I’m A Slave 4 U,” “What’s practical? What’s logical? What the hell, who cares?” In other words, there are no rules. All sense of “social decorum” goes out the window when you’ve got nothing to lose. And, as “worlds apart” as they might be, that sentiment summed up this girl begging for money in the present and Britney Spears singing “I’m A Slave 4 U” in 2001 (even though, as Spears would find out, she still had plenty left to lose). A song she would sing ad infinitum thanks to the wonders of TikTok revitalizing a new generation’s interest in her oeuvre.

Jessica pondered if perhaps even this little beggar girl had been, in some form or another, “touched” by Britney Spears. No doubt even the elderly woman sitting across from her probably had been at some point, whether positively or negatively. Maybe she, like Kendel Ehrlich, the “First Lady of Maryland” in Spears’ heyday, “would shoot Britney Spears” if she “had a chance.” At least “back in the day,” when Spears’ power over young girls was at its strongest. Though, little did the next batch of girls know, Spears’ influence over them remained steadfast by way of the new era of “pop stars” emulating Britney (who, in turn, had emulated Madonna—everything is a copy of a copy of a copy, etc.).

The elderly woman took immediate note of the girl as she walked by their batch of seats, her eyes pleading and (ostensibly) earnest. She smiled at the girl, as though she was her grandchild or something. Eyes filled with love and warmth. In short, a look that would never be directed at Jessica, or someone “like her.” That is to say, someone who was “well-off” and not a child. And though she knew she should not be having such “terrible thoughts” (because all thoughts that were not “morally correct”/“societally sanctioned” were wrong), it’s how she felt. All at once and in an uncontrollable wave. Almost as if she wanted to, just for an instant, switch places with this child so that she, too, could experience the same radiation of goodwill and compassion. I cannot hold it, I cannot control it.

As for the girl, who eagerly held out her hand to receive the crisp trio of bills (the only denomination that Jessica could decipher on one of them was a five—not too shabby), her eyes were filled not with love or warmth, but rather, with the unmistakable glint of ravenous greed. A hunger to acquire more and more of these pretty pieces of paper for her collection. Whoever she was—and whether or not she secretly did have a set of parents “stashed” somewhere—it was obvious that she herself could have easily been singing, “I know I may be young/But I’ve got feelings too/And I need to do/What I feel like doing/So let me go, and just listen/All you people look at me like I’m a little girl/Well, did you ever think it’d be okay for me to step into this world?”

Based on the enthusiastic reactions to her panhandling methods (a.k.a. being a little girl on her own), it appeared as though everyone on the train thought it was plenty okay for her to step into this world. This world of “capitalism or die” that, apart from wealth, favors only youth and, de facto, exploitable beauty in any and every circumstance.

When the girl approached Jessica after collecting her bounty from the old woman across from her, she flashed the same pleading and expectant look. Jessica turned away to stare vacantly out the window as she cranked up the volume to the sound of Spears repeating, “Get it, get it, get it, get it (whoa).”